Cheesy Pick-Up Lines

Did you fall from heaven? (Why?) Cause you look like an angel to me!
You look like Arizona. HOT!!!!
Are you from Maine? (No, why?) Cause you look like my "Maine" girl.
Do you like math? (Yeah, why?) Can I have your number then?
Do you have a library card? (Why?) Cause I wanna check you out!
Call me!
Friend me!
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Do you wanna be an apple or a "pear"?
Is your father a thief? (No, why?) Cause you just stole my heart.
If I could rearrange the alphabet? I'd put U and I in front.
Sorry, but you owe me a drink. (Why?) Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart.
Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Are you from Tennessee? Cause your the only ten I see.
Wait stop. (Why?) Cause you need a card to enter my hotel of love.
By: Darla Wong, Jackie Pham, Michelle Yoon, and Audrey Van

The Odd Story

One day, there was a little girl named Lee. She hated everyone, but no one hated her because she was as beautiful as a dead flower. For some odd, weird, unexplainable reason, everyone thought she was a pretty ugly person that smelled nice. Whenever she walked by someone, they would say, "AAAAAHHHHH. Who is that ugly... WOW!!! It smells sooo nice. I change my mind, she is a spoiled, little, good-smelling weirdo."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," is what Lee would always say when she got the same reaction from everyone that saw her. She was 13 years old when this all... ENDED.
THE END
By: Darla Wong

Addicted

Hi this is Darla Wong,
I am addicted. to e-mailing people. well technically spamming them.
just ask:
Jackie Pham (the other djdroid)
Audrey Van (former djdroid)
Michelle Yoon (former djdroid)
and Harry Haessner (former djdroid)
they all go 20 e-mails each, which makes a total to uhhh 80 e-mail in one day. maybe more!!!!!
give me your e-mail I'll spam you
Yours sincerely, (i think that's how you spell it)
Darla Wong

Need help with the 5th grade STATE REPORT?

NETSTATE
NETSTATE.com
teeeeeeeeeeheeeeeee

thanks hope this was useful
the djdroids

funny stories 5- A Day in Hell

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks.
Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great.

Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it! Love the smoking.
Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling.
Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.

Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy: Uh no.

Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

funny stories 4-A Son's Bad Dream

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.

The next day, granddaddy dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.

The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure he is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.

Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. "Good God Dear" he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!

She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."

funny stories 3-CEO Party

A CEO takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you."

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!"